u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
