I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
