But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
