If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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