So drunk, too bad you don't want this
oh god the rape fog is back!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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