My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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