i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize