just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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