dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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