yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize