i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
