I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
