i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
