I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I deserve to be covered in dicks
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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