i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
