it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
