just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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