how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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