hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
