Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My friends, they love my intelligence
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
