I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
