guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
