That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
