i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
