suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
