People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
