I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
