I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize