We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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