i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize