why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
