I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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