Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
