i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
