You don't have asthma, your pregnant
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
