I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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