so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
