awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
