it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
