I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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