Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
