Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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