PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i now understand why vodka
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
