he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
