Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
