I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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