Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
