cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
