do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
