If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
