stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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