Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
its not stalking. its research.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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