is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
