im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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