I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I need water and some morals
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize