i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
