He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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