So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
