Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We are all done wearing pants today
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
