whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
