Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
