I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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