your room smells of hookers.
And success
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
