A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
