I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Drunk is not a location!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
