Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
