the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
