Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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